Saturday, December 20, 2008

The Silence of God

by Andrew Peterson from his album, Love and Thunder

Unfortunately, this video is no longer available. You can read Peterson's powerful lyrics here

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Cigars in Heaven

My thanks to those who continued to remember Kelly and our family. I am amazed and blessed that so many continue to check the website and often leave the most wonderful messages. On dark days, these words of encouragement are like rays of light.

It has been two years since Kelly’s frozen body was found in a hastily dug snow cave near the summit of Mt. Hood. In the months following Kelly’s tragic death, we stumbled reluctantly back into the everydayness of our lives. Gradually, the earth returned to its rotational axis, and we all have done our level best to press forward even though our hearts are still broken and tears remain close to the surface. God is still on his throne ruling the universe, but seems much more mysterious and unfathomable than before. And Kelly is enjoying the presence of God—Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

If someone were to ask me, would I remove Kelly from his glorious bliss and return him to this fallen world with its veil of tears—my answer would be: Yes, a thousand times yes! If I could utter an incantation or wave a magic wand that would have stilled that deadly unrelenting snow storm so that Kelly (along with Brian and Nikko) would have been miraculously rescued, I would do it in a nano-second. I am selfish I know.

Today, on the second anniversary of the discovery of the body of my little brother, I have taken the day off from work and in the evening I plan to drink a glass of wine, listen to some funky down-and-dirty Texas alternative country music and smoke a cigar in Kelly’s honor. I will drink the wine to numb the pain of his loss (which refuses to fade away) and I will listen to the country music because that connects me in a mystical way with Kelly. I actually hate cigars, but I know Kelly planned to smoke a cigar with Brian and Nikko once they reached the other side of the mountain—and so I will smoke my cigar in recognition (but not quite celebration) that they all have reached the other side. I smoke in their stead because I doubt there are cigars in heaven.